Chapter 2
Brett thinking about his sister was feeling a little sorry that she had to grow up so fast and take care of him and Dad. Brett's brother Rich committed suicide two years after Mom died, at the age of 14. That put a toll on Irene and she almost had a mental break down but claimed she found “Jesus” at a summer camp that year.
Thinking on this Brett wanted to warn his friends about Irene. Irene had gone away for awhile when she hit 16. Dad thought it would be good for her to live with His sister since they shared a similar faith. Plus the boys would never stop calling. So she left and its been years since Brett and she has seen each other. She had came home a couple of nights ago. And all Irene had talked about was this “Jesus” and her “God” it really made him mad with rage. But so far he had controlled that rage and tolerated it.
Looking at his friends in the mirror and knowing what some believed and since this was really the first time in weeks they had been over to his house they hadn't seen her he decided that it was time to tell him about her.
He let out a big sigh and started to talk, “Guys there is something you should know about my sister.” He waited for there responses.
“Sure bro, whats up?” Robbie looking at his friend puzzled.
Grace just stared in a daze and then rolled her eyes and said. “Ask me if I care.”
Nikki gave Brett the why is she here again look. Then said, “Home from the mental institution?”
Bret looked at her with a smirk on his face. Brett responded to Nikki, “Well, Ya how did you know?!!!” he chuckled.
“You see she came home a week ago and now she has taken charge of the whole house acting like “Miss Queen Paulie Anna.” A sarcastic tone came over his voice.
Brett knew that Robbie was a pagan and he and his sister was not on good terms. So he waited for his response the most.
Finally Robbie blurted out, “aah, (Expletives)”
The last time Robbie and Irene had talked they had an argument that would make a Senate debate look like a Tupperware party. We had just come home from school and went in to get some refreshment when Irene came in.
Irene, having not seen him in years because Robbies parents had moved, asked hoping to witness to him, “are you a Christian?”
Robbie nervously chuckled and taken aback by her boldness answered back.”No, no, no, I am not.”
“Then what are you?” She said persistently with a smile that would make a Televangelists proud. She had always been annoyed at the fact that someone might not be a Christian. Irene felt it her lot to convert everyone she saw. And fresh from “Jesus” camp she felt strong and enthusiastic, and she wasn't going to back down. To her he was fresh bait.
Feeling pushed Robbie answers with assertiveness, “A Pagan, a good Pagan.” Wanting to distance himself and differentiate between he and the Satanists, he added, ”Not a devil worshiping moron.”
“Oh, why?” unmoved by his assertiveness.
“Because I'm my own god.” he said rather proudly.
“Your're your own god?
“Yup”
With a curious look on her face, “Do you ever get sick or screw up at anything?”
“I haven't been sick since I went vegan and yes I do make the occasional error... my god is not perfect.”
“Well, then, you aren't a very good god are you?” jabbing her words at him hoping to catch him slip.
Anger starting to rise from his face he quipped, “Not like your almighty imagination, neither like a character in a book.”
Like a pack wolf smelling fear she responded, “Have you created anything lately, raised anyone from the dead, walked on water, or anything?”
“Neither.”
Irene had a way to push peoples buttons and make them feel cornered. Her words were cutting Robbie like a knife and offered another blow, “Oh... well, that isn't very good... tell me, as a god, what are you able to do... that is godlike?
“Yeah, I make stuff all the time and yes I walked on water today.... oh yeah and an amazing feat..” Now just being harsh and sarcastic. He went over to the kitchen bar and sat on the stool and placed the cola he got out of the refrigerator on the table, he waited in anticipation for her next move.
She hopped herself on the kitchen counter thinking on what to say next. Then a thought came,“From what I can see, you aren't very good at this god thing....So tell me, how are you godlike?”
Robbies commitment to paganism was weak, but was not about to be dismissed by a snobbish Christian. If he were to be honest at that moment he would have said that he was more of a backsliden pagan not really practicing. So he thought to just have fun with this snob.
Toying with her beliefs for fun he replied. “I'm a humble god, satisfied with being average. I need no special abilities. I lead but one... myself. So, as long as I'm at least as good as myself, I'm fine. I'm being the best god I can be.'
She now being disgusted by his arrogance,gasped, “You're humble?” She came off the counter and proceeded to go to the armchair.
She pulled back the lever of the armchair so as to appear relaxed but really what she was doing was positioning herself for attack. Striking her words of attack as the chair unfolds to rest her feet she said, “ If you have no special abilities, then how can you be a god?”
“I'm not saying all must worship me or perish. God's are just better at something than someone else, perhaps I'm a god of wit and being a decent guitar player.'
“Okay, but how can you be a god, if you boast about being humble and don't have any special abilities?”
Taking another sip of his now already half gone cola. He carefully chooses his words, “I'm a laid back god, and only the Christian god knows everything. I've never heard of another god that was so full of himself. No roman gods claimed that.” then puts up his own feet on the other bar stool as if to mock her.
“I don't think you're a god.”
“Oh well, I'm not asking you to believe.” thinking that he had one that round of verbage boxing. But was about to find out he was wrong.
“You said you were one... but can't prove it... You've got nothing.” reaching for her bible and about to quote scripture at him.
“Oh well.” He said trying to move away from the conversation.
“Jesus had a lot more going for Himself than you do.”
Walking over to the counter he picks up a banana and begins to peel it then shrugs his shoulders “Doesn't bother me. Yeah, he had a fictional novel written about him.”
“How do you know it is fiction and not true?” offended at his words.
“Because it's complete (expletives)!!!!” getting rather annoyed and wanting to end the conversation quickly. He said hoping she would storm off and leave him alone.
But not willing to loose this battle she attacks his character by saying, “Isn't that rather egotistical?”
“I'm not asking you to believe anything, and here you are pushing your beliefs on me.”
“I'm not pushing anything. I'm just trying to show you how illogical you are being.”
“I'm not trying to get anyone to believe in anything. I said I was my own god.”
“You're trying to get me to believe you're a god aren't you?”
“You know very well that I was not saying I'm some supreme being. But you use it as an excuse to push Jesus Christ and all his bull on me.”
Robbie had had enough and said to me, “Look Brett lets go to your room the air stinks and I need to be in a better place to play video games.”
We left to play some games that day but for Irene the game had only began and he knew it. The thought of going back made him sick he did not want to go back and deal with her but he was willing to stand by his bro.
“I am ok with it if I don't have to talk to her. Feeling his stomach to see if tonights dinner was still there.
Nikki felt for Brett knowing the relationship between his sister was bad and wanted many times to put out the olive branch but she had her own disdain for Christians. Her thoughts rambled on with a montage of how they tried to get her “saved” by guilt. She didn't have anything against the religion just against their constant hypocrisy.
She turned to Brett and gave him a vote of confidence wanting nothing for the best between his sister and he, “Babe, Maybe she will be different this time around.”
She placed her hand behind his neck to relax him. Nikki really didn't need to try to relax him just the sound of her voice would do that. This was just an extra added touch of love and she expected nothing in return.
Brett smiled as she touched him, but then his thoughts went to the past to when this family feud started. A couple of years after Mom had died Dad had begun his career as a politician.
Irene was stuck baby sitting Brett and she resented it and made it known to him. She would many a times blame him for the “Curses” of the family.
One night, Brett wanted to watch his favorite T.V show but she would not let him.
“Renne,” little Brett moaned.
Rennie was the family's nick name for her growing up. Dad just wanted to show his affection to her and started calling her his little Rennie. And it stuck. Now she has grown to hate it.
She became condecending to the little boy and told him mockingly, “BREEEEETTT!!!!! I said no.”
Brett complained, “But its only a half an hour show it won't hurt me staying up that long.”
But just as Brett said those words the phone rang. It was Dad on the phone. Irene picked up the phone and answered, “Hey there daddy hows it going.” while Brett was tugging her to see if he can talk to him.
“Not much pumkin.” He said with a tired voice and continued abruptly. “Rennie, I might not come home tonight can you handle Brett till the morning?”
Dad had a habit of calling and canceling on coming home but this night was special it was the day she had made cheer leading squad and she just wanted to tell him the good news. But this was not to be and it broke her heart.
She was disappointed and almost begin to cry said, “uh oh sure daddy”
He thought she was tired of taking care of Brett and tried to cheer her up, “Sweetie, I promise I will make it up to you.”
To Irene felt like she was just another constituent and he was the politician breaking his campaign promise. They exchanged few words after that then hung up without Brett talking to his Dad.
She turned to Brett in fierce anger and said, “You know what its your fault Mom died you know!!!!”
Brett just stood their stunned and not knowing how to respond. He got just enough of his senses to say something back, “Why do you believe that?”
Irene bolted back, “Because if she hadn't been playing outside she would still be here.”
These words stunned him further. He couldn't move and was scared and sadden at the same time. 'It's your fault ' ran through his mind like a tape recorder. Then the image of his Mom falling on the ground became forever imprinted in his mind.
She grabbed his hair and pulled him in his bed room and slammed the door shut. Then shouted, “I hate you.”
The memory of crying on the floor, all night long, on that fateful day still plays over and over in his mind. In Brett;'s little mind he made up his mind that if his sisters god was like that he wanted no part of that. So he became an atheist and made a vow that he and only he would control his life.
Brett looked over to Nikki in mock poster to his sister, “Maybe The laawwrd will change her and Heaaaal her!!!.”
He was always good at making great impressions of Televangelists and on this occasion he was right on. All in the car laughed. Nikki laughed the hardest.
“No!!!” he said as he chuckled at his own impression.
“I doubt it.”
“Besides, She has too much religion blinding her.”
Robbie knew his friend better that I dare say then Nikki, but one thing Brett was always quiet about was what he believed in. He was curious and asked, “Whats wrong with religion?”
Brett shrugged his shoulders, “Nothing, accept they are alll based on a lie”
“Oh” he said with a look of shock considering all of his family was religious in some way or another.
“So, are you an Atheist Brett?” Robbie now puzzled that his best friend never told him this.
“Yes, I am bro.” he said sheepishly.
Robbie knew enough not to press him at a time like this but wanted to talk about his experiences with the spirit realm but just sat back in amazement.
There was awkward silence in the air till Grace having a delayed reaction to mocking christians came out of a stupor once more started to mock cry said, “Please, give to this minsitry when are in serious need to have plastic surgery.”
She sniffed, “Send quick, I am running out of my years supply of make up.”
She started to laugh then when eveyone was looking at her as if to say where did that come from she said, 'What? I thought that was funny.”
Brett continued to focus on what he was going say to Irene when he got there. He would not have to wait long, because the house was only a block away.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Poetry House
Poetry House
Chapter 1
A lifeless night seems to be on the loom. With only a full moon to light the way. Shadows creep unto the street as four friends drive swiftly through the darkness. Brett a teenager on the threshold of adulthood. Drives more erratic than usual. His jet black hair messy from the nights escapade. Skin that only matches the moon itself. Sound blocked out and broken by the screaming voice of Nikki his girlfriend.
“Breeeeettttt........ SLOOOOOWWWW DOOOOWNN!!!!!!!”
Her soft voice now an alto piercing the night. Nikki or Nichole as her mother calls her, is a slim anorexic looking 18 year old. Her brunette hair seemed to glisten in the night. She braces herself on the console of the car.
Robbie his friend screams in the back of Brett's ear. “ !@#%(Expletives) man, your gonna get us all killed.”
Robbie is eccentric. He dresses like Roy Orbison and tries to sing like him but not on this occasion. Since screaming seems to be the song of the night.
Grace sits next to him but is knocked out by the many drinks she has had during the nights party. She sat lifeless oddly with her seatbelt on. Grace is a former prom queen gone goth. She has a cotton candy for her hair style with a pink dress and dockers to boot.
Brett coming out of a drunken stupor when all the yelling commenced. The car swerved out of control the moment he heard the yells. Expletives now seems to be the language of the evening. Brett now joins in on the chorus, awaken only to find himself in a worse nightmare than he was in before.
In the distance, as Brett tries to gain control of the car, is a shadow of a man. As the car starts to regain control the shadow becomes clearer as the car approaches closer.
The man in the shadows, struggles to walk across the street. Headlights beam on his face. The face appeared haggard. He dressed in homeless clothes and as he turns his face the car hits him. It seemed like everything moved in slow motion as Brett put on the breaks to little to late. The screeching of the car was the dominate sound. Finally the car came to a stop with everyone wondering about the man Brett just hit. All of them in unison look back only to see a lifeless body.
Silence prevailed the moment. And the moment seemed to be a lifetime. Then Nikki broke the sound barrier with a frantic voice. “Oh, !@#$% (expletive) Brett you killed him.”
Robbie taps on Brett's shoulders with a shout, “GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
Brett quickly puts his foot on the gas and spins the tires on the ground leaving marks on the road as smoke rises from the spin itself.
Brett now realizes the gravity of the situation. Panics saying, “I killed a man.”
“Dammit.” Brett slams his fist on the console. As he drives away.
Brett was the type of person who thought he could make any problem go away. Well this was one problem that wasn't going to go away. He needed to think of what to do next.
Images of past police chases on television raced on Brett's mind. He looks frantically behind him with some amount of relief seeing that none are there. Feelings of guilt now began to prevail over him. He now thinking he should go back but images of him in the news papers and what his dad would think grew stronger in his mind.
Brett's dad being a local politician didn't make it any easier for him to turn around. Even though they had a distant relationship he still respected his dad enough to try and keep out of trouble. Like his dad always reminded him, “Son, Image is everything in this business.” Brett always took that to mean behave or else. It wasn't that they didn't love each other. Its just as time went on being a politician took precedence over being a father.
Brett began to wish his mom was here. She would have given him some moral direction he needed along with motherly comfort. His mother had died of cancer just before he was Four. He needed to hear her voice once again. But it was not to be and only intensified his feelings of loneliness.
Tears started down his face thinking about it all. He had lost focus on what he needed to do. His hands were gripped tight on the steering wheel. He had once again drowned out the sound of his friends.
Finally Brett blurted out, “what did I do.”
“what the (expletive) did I do.” he shouted louder.
He pounded the steering wheel. At the same moment his friends scared silent by the violent outburst.
Finally Nikki broke the silence with a soft soothing voice, “Brett, sweetie please pull over and let's think on what we need to do. Okay?”
This is the voice of moral direction and motherly comfort he needed at the time. Nikki's face seemed to tell him he needed to protect her from danger. Her eyes drenched in tears from fright. She was Brett's Ideal girl. They had been dating for sometime. Dad didn't approve of it of course him being religious in Brett's mind. Dad didn't want him to date at all till he was mature and ready to marry. Brett thought that too old fashion and rebelled against the idea. So he gave his heart at the early age of 15 to her. Tonight was to be the night he was going to ask her to marry him. This night being their Third anniversary was supposed to be a joyous night. Nikki did indeed replace the void his mom left. But now this would be happy occasion is now interrupted by another death. He dared not ask tonight.
His thoughts now turned to the direction of needing to hide from the nights nightmarish beginnings. Not knowing where and the painful silence bothered Him so he turned on the radio for some distraction. The radio didn't help since the song on it played Black Sabbaths Highway to hell. As soon as Brett recognized the song he immediately turned the radio off swerving the car a little awakening the sleeping goth in the back. Grace no matter the make up was still the ditsy type exclaimed, “uh, are we home yet.”
Those words seemed to hit Brett's mind jarring him out of a panic stupor of sorts. “Home”, He thought was the place he needed to be. Home was beckoning him but the one thing he hated was his sister Irene. She was a typical Christian who busied herself with everyones life and thought she was always right about everything. She was the middle child and the favorite of Dad's. She could do no wrong in Dad's eyes, she truly was Daddy's girl. Home for Brett was not a fun place to be. But in his heart he knew she really loved her little brother.
Brett not wanting the aggravation of seeing his sister at the front door decided to stop at the next available corner to talk this out. He turns quickly and stops into a Wal-mart.
“Ok, now what, any suggestions.?” He says as he quickly parks
Wal-mart was like a Ghost town which was unusual for a Friday night. Then Grace the ever alert one says, “Did I miss something?”
Robbie gathers his senses and try's to explain to Grace the nights happenings says in a sarcastic tone, “Well , Speed racer over here wanted to see how many points he can get hitting homeless people. And apparently there is more points for dead ones.”
Brett shot back, “look man he came out of nowhere.!!! So (expletives) off!!”
“Well if you had been paying attention Mr. Magoo you wouldn't have hit him.” was Robbie's response.
“Ok, ok , so your tellin' me that Brett hit a man and didn't see if the man was ok and drove off?” Grace still coming out of her drunken stupor asked.
“Your are soooo dead” Was the best response this Happy Goth can muster in her semi coherent state of mind.
“Go back to sleep you Vamp.” Retorted Brett.
Nikki the voice of reason once again chimed in, “Ok, none of this is helping. We need to find a place to hang out till this blows over. So, all of us think of a place we can hide till we can plan our next step.”
Brett was once again relieved to hear the sound of an angel coming from his beloved. Her voice calmed him down enough to at least be willing to hear what everyone had to say he needed to go.
Robbie gained his sense of friendship back and not wanting to see his best friend since childhood destroy his life on one error in his life. Begged him, “Man, Look I am sorry I just panicked back there, I think you should turn yourself in bro.”
“Bro” Robbie didn't use that word lightly he was the kinda guy that meant what he said and said what he meant.” Brett and Robbie met the day after Brett's mom died. Brett was sitting in the hotel lobby with his dad mourning over his loss. When Robbie noticed that sad friend to be, he came over to introduce himself hoping he can find like minded boys to play with. He walked over and said, “Hi, I'm Robbie wanna play?”
Brett just shook his head slowly no, not wanting any attention given to him. Robbie not understanding the situation persisted still further. Grabbing some gum in his left front pocket of his shorts. Handing it to Brett he said, “Here ya go, maybe that'll cheer ya up?”
But Brett refused and just stared somberly to the ground. Robbie wondered and asked, “Why are you so sad?”
Brett's Dad had walked over to the front deck watched from a distance. Not wanting to ruin the moment of goodwill gesture this little one was portraying. He just stood there both in a state of shock of the loss of his beloved wife and warmed by one act of love, delaying this time of gloom.
Brett's Dad was at an ears shot of the conversation and heard what Robbie asked, walked over and began to explain to him, with holding his tears back said, “Hello young man, I am Marty.” trying to smile but not coming out. “How are you?” he said. “I am this young man's Father. We've had a pretty bad day today. You see Brett here lost his mommy and we are very sad, so please forgive Brett for not responding to you.” Marty began to cry a little and so did Brett.
Robbie began to be sad along with them and put his arm around Brett and hugged him. Then he sat right next to him on the lobby couch. And said, “I'm jus gonna sit wif ya and if ya don' wanna talk it's ok, I understand.” This brought more tears to both Marty and Brett and ever since then they became the best of friends. There have since then been a connection between them. A brotherhood bond. So for Robbie this word “bro” was a way of letting Brett know he was behind him 100 percent no matter what.
Brett just stared at the flickering W sign when Robbie said those words. Sighed and said, “Thanks man, but I need to hide for my Dad's sake. This would kill him if the press found out, or else I would turn myself in. You know that.”
Grace now concerned for the man she had never seen spoke up “Well, I think you should at least go back and see if the guy is ok. I mean dude, you hit him for christ sake.”
She had just remembered that there was a homeless shelter near by Wal- Mart. A place she is all to familiar with. She spending many nights herself there because of her parents having to sell their home for not being able to pay the mortgage. Thinking that she might know the person Brett hit, she wanted him to go and find out.
Nikki unafraid to voice her opinion said “He can't go back the cops might be there and if he gets arrested it will be front page news.”
A voice subtly came in Brett's head, “Go home.” This voice was a males voice one in which he had never heard before. It was a gentle fatherly voice. Still Brett was unsure and frankly it freaked him out. He needed some reassurance that this was indeed the right thing to do.
Then in eerie timing Nikki said, “Sweetie, lets go to your Dad's house. At least we can think on what we need to do next.”
The voice of reason prevailed over Brett and as soon as Nikki spoke he had an unusual calm that seemed to say, This is the right thing to do.
Brett without flinching started his car and backed out of the parking spot and drove off. As they drove off Brett couldn't help but wonder what was in store for him. The voice and the timed message of Nikki got him thinking on what will happen now.
He got that uneasy feeling and when ever he did, something bad happened. And he had only got that feeling twice before. Once, just before his dad ran for office and his dad lost the election. Then the other time was the day before his mother had died. Both times he had wanted to tell his Dad but was afraid. And now this time once again he wants to tell his Dad but like the other times he is afraid.
Brett needed comfort and looked to Nikki who smiled reassuringly. She placed her hand on his hand. Then he held her hand and she his. She leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Baby, its gonna be ok.”
Her voice soothed his fears. It seemed to suspend time and space. For that moment nothing else mattered but them. With a word she could always calm him and he can conquer any thing. It was then that as she said those words that this was something he had to do. Call it a sense of destiny. Or what ever you wish to call it, but Brett was on his way. To what, he didn't know nor at this time did he want to know.
Dad's house was only three miles away and Brett shifted into first gear. This was a vulnerable time for Brett. He as now frail, something he was afraid of and never wanted to show to anyone. He knew his weakness was weighing him down. He knew something was missing and the pain of the past was making him weary. Brett wanted rest. He felt chained from the past and wanted release from it. He sought a healing touch but even Nikki could not touch that ever growing pain in his heart. He wanted to be whole. The question was would he find it? This weary journey man was only starting on his road to the unknown.
But other thoughts ran through Brett's mind. He couldn't understand why his relationship with his Dad was so distant. Dad was different after Mom had died. The vague memories of playing ball in the back yard filled his head. Echoed voices from the past came in like a flood.
“That a boy you can do it.” Dad said as he watched his boy catch his first ball. The glove was over sized but Little Brett seemed to manage to catch the ball all be it very clumsily, but he did catch it.
Just as he caught the ball a petite blond of a woman shouted. “Way to go sweetie, you did it.”
She ran over to give him a hug of support and swing him around playfully but that was not to happen. She stopped mid run and then collapsed on the ground . Mom had a seizure and started to flail on the ground and there was nothing Brett nor his Dad could do. Feeling helpless and hopeless Brett just stood there afraid to move. As soon as she stopped she stopped breathing. And by the time the ambulance came it was too late, Mom had past away.
Home was no longer the same after that Brett would learn to cope with loneliness and despair. While dad would just move on and put on a brave front and tell the world that he was ok. Truth is Dad was not ok he would deal with bouts of suicide and have to take pills just to keep himself afloat. Sis seemed to find comfort in religion. And she ruled the house after that taking control and taking on the adult role even though she was only 9 at the time of Mom's death.
Chapter 1
A lifeless night seems to be on the loom. With only a full moon to light the way. Shadows creep unto the street as four friends drive swiftly through the darkness. Brett a teenager on the threshold of adulthood. Drives more erratic than usual. His jet black hair messy from the nights escapade. Skin that only matches the moon itself. Sound blocked out and broken by the screaming voice of Nikki his girlfriend.
“Breeeeettttt........ SLOOOOOWWWW DOOOOWNN!!!!!!!”
Her soft voice now an alto piercing the night. Nikki or Nichole as her mother calls her, is a slim anorexic looking 18 year old. Her brunette hair seemed to glisten in the night. She braces herself on the console of the car.
Robbie his friend screams in the back of Brett's ear. “ !@#%(Expletives) man, your gonna get us all killed.”
Robbie is eccentric. He dresses like Roy Orbison and tries to sing like him but not on this occasion. Since screaming seems to be the song of the night.
Grace sits next to him but is knocked out by the many drinks she has had during the nights party. She sat lifeless oddly with her seatbelt on. Grace is a former prom queen gone goth. She has a cotton candy for her hair style with a pink dress and dockers to boot.
Brett coming out of a drunken stupor when all the yelling commenced. The car swerved out of control the moment he heard the yells. Expletives now seems to be the language of the evening. Brett now joins in on the chorus, awaken only to find himself in a worse nightmare than he was in before.
In the distance, as Brett tries to gain control of the car, is a shadow of a man. As the car starts to regain control the shadow becomes clearer as the car approaches closer.
The man in the shadows, struggles to walk across the street. Headlights beam on his face. The face appeared haggard. He dressed in homeless clothes and as he turns his face the car hits him. It seemed like everything moved in slow motion as Brett put on the breaks to little to late. The screeching of the car was the dominate sound. Finally the car came to a stop with everyone wondering about the man Brett just hit. All of them in unison look back only to see a lifeless body.
Silence prevailed the moment. And the moment seemed to be a lifetime. Then Nikki broke the sound barrier with a frantic voice. “Oh, !@#$% (expletive) Brett you killed him.”
Robbie taps on Brett's shoulders with a shout, “GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
Brett quickly puts his foot on the gas and spins the tires on the ground leaving marks on the road as smoke rises from the spin itself.
Brett now realizes the gravity of the situation. Panics saying, “I killed a man.”
“Dammit.” Brett slams his fist on the console. As he drives away.
Brett was the type of person who thought he could make any problem go away. Well this was one problem that wasn't going to go away. He needed to think of what to do next.
Images of past police chases on television raced on Brett's mind. He looks frantically behind him with some amount of relief seeing that none are there. Feelings of guilt now began to prevail over him. He now thinking he should go back but images of him in the news papers and what his dad would think grew stronger in his mind.
Brett's dad being a local politician didn't make it any easier for him to turn around. Even though they had a distant relationship he still respected his dad enough to try and keep out of trouble. Like his dad always reminded him, “Son, Image is everything in this business.” Brett always took that to mean behave or else. It wasn't that they didn't love each other. Its just as time went on being a politician took precedence over being a father.
Brett began to wish his mom was here. She would have given him some moral direction he needed along with motherly comfort. His mother had died of cancer just before he was Four. He needed to hear her voice once again. But it was not to be and only intensified his feelings of loneliness.
Tears started down his face thinking about it all. He had lost focus on what he needed to do. His hands were gripped tight on the steering wheel. He had once again drowned out the sound of his friends.
Finally Brett blurted out, “what did I do.”
“what the (expletive) did I do.” he shouted louder.
He pounded the steering wheel. At the same moment his friends scared silent by the violent outburst.
Finally Nikki broke the silence with a soft soothing voice, “Brett, sweetie please pull over and let's think on what we need to do. Okay?”
This is the voice of moral direction and motherly comfort he needed at the time. Nikki's face seemed to tell him he needed to protect her from danger. Her eyes drenched in tears from fright. She was Brett's Ideal girl. They had been dating for sometime. Dad didn't approve of it of course him being religious in Brett's mind. Dad didn't want him to date at all till he was mature and ready to marry. Brett thought that too old fashion and rebelled against the idea. So he gave his heart at the early age of 15 to her. Tonight was to be the night he was going to ask her to marry him. This night being their Third anniversary was supposed to be a joyous night. Nikki did indeed replace the void his mom left. But now this would be happy occasion is now interrupted by another death. He dared not ask tonight.
His thoughts now turned to the direction of needing to hide from the nights nightmarish beginnings. Not knowing where and the painful silence bothered Him so he turned on the radio for some distraction. The radio didn't help since the song on it played Black Sabbaths Highway to hell. As soon as Brett recognized the song he immediately turned the radio off swerving the car a little awakening the sleeping goth in the back. Grace no matter the make up was still the ditsy type exclaimed, “uh, are we home yet.”
Those words seemed to hit Brett's mind jarring him out of a panic stupor of sorts. “Home”, He thought was the place he needed to be. Home was beckoning him but the one thing he hated was his sister Irene. She was a typical Christian who busied herself with everyones life and thought she was always right about everything. She was the middle child and the favorite of Dad's. She could do no wrong in Dad's eyes, she truly was Daddy's girl. Home for Brett was not a fun place to be. But in his heart he knew she really loved her little brother.
Brett not wanting the aggravation of seeing his sister at the front door decided to stop at the next available corner to talk this out. He turns quickly and stops into a Wal-mart.
“Ok, now what, any suggestions.?” He says as he quickly parks
Wal-mart was like a Ghost town which was unusual for a Friday night. Then Grace the ever alert one says, “Did I miss something?”
Robbie gathers his senses and try's to explain to Grace the nights happenings says in a sarcastic tone, “Well , Speed racer over here wanted to see how many points he can get hitting homeless people. And apparently there is more points for dead ones.”
Brett shot back, “look man he came out of nowhere.!!! So (expletives) off!!”
“Well if you had been paying attention Mr. Magoo you wouldn't have hit him.” was Robbie's response.
“Ok, ok , so your tellin' me that Brett hit a man and didn't see if the man was ok and drove off?” Grace still coming out of her drunken stupor asked.
“Your are soooo dead” Was the best response this Happy Goth can muster in her semi coherent state of mind.
“Go back to sleep you Vamp.” Retorted Brett.
Nikki the voice of reason once again chimed in, “Ok, none of this is helping. We need to find a place to hang out till this blows over. So, all of us think of a place we can hide till we can plan our next step.”
Brett was once again relieved to hear the sound of an angel coming from his beloved. Her voice calmed him down enough to at least be willing to hear what everyone had to say he needed to go.
Robbie gained his sense of friendship back and not wanting to see his best friend since childhood destroy his life on one error in his life. Begged him, “Man, Look I am sorry I just panicked back there, I think you should turn yourself in bro.”
“Bro” Robbie didn't use that word lightly he was the kinda guy that meant what he said and said what he meant.” Brett and Robbie met the day after Brett's mom died. Brett was sitting in the hotel lobby with his dad mourning over his loss. When Robbie noticed that sad friend to be, he came over to introduce himself hoping he can find like minded boys to play with. He walked over and said, “Hi, I'm Robbie wanna play?”
Brett just shook his head slowly no, not wanting any attention given to him. Robbie not understanding the situation persisted still further. Grabbing some gum in his left front pocket of his shorts. Handing it to Brett he said, “Here ya go, maybe that'll cheer ya up?”
But Brett refused and just stared somberly to the ground. Robbie wondered and asked, “Why are you so sad?”
Brett's Dad had walked over to the front deck watched from a distance. Not wanting to ruin the moment of goodwill gesture this little one was portraying. He just stood there both in a state of shock of the loss of his beloved wife and warmed by one act of love, delaying this time of gloom.
Brett's Dad was at an ears shot of the conversation and heard what Robbie asked, walked over and began to explain to him, with holding his tears back said, “Hello young man, I am Marty.” trying to smile but not coming out. “How are you?” he said. “I am this young man's Father. We've had a pretty bad day today. You see Brett here lost his mommy and we are very sad, so please forgive Brett for not responding to you.” Marty began to cry a little and so did Brett.
Robbie began to be sad along with them and put his arm around Brett and hugged him. Then he sat right next to him on the lobby couch. And said, “I'm jus gonna sit wif ya and if ya don' wanna talk it's ok, I understand.” This brought more tears to both Marty and Brett and ever since then they became the best of friends. There have since then been a connection between them. A brotherhood bond. So for Robbie this word “bro” was a way of letting Brett know he was behind him 100 percent no matter what.
Brett just stared at the flickering W sign when Robbie said those words. Sighed and said, “Thanks man, but I need to hide for my Dad's sake. This would kill him if the press found out, or else I would turn myself in. You know that.”
Grace now concerned for the man she had never seen spoke up “Well, I think you should at least go back and see if the guy is ok. I mean dude, you hit him for christ sake.”
She had just remembered that there was a homeless shelter near by Wal- Mart. A place she is all to familiar with. She spending many nights herself there because of her parents having to sell their home for not being able to pay the mortgage. Thinking that she might know the person Brett hit, she wanted him to go and find out.
Nikki unafraid to voice her opinion said “He can't go back the cops might be there and if he gets arrested it will be front page news.”
A voice subtly came in Brett's head, “Go home.” This voice was a males voice one in which he had never heard before. It was a gentle fatherly voice. Still Brett was unsure and frankly it freaked him out. He needed some reassurance that this was indeed the right thing to do.
Then in eerie timing Nikki said, “Sweetie, lets go to your Dad's house. At least we can think on what we need to do next.”
The voice of reason prevailed over Brett and as soon as Nikki spoke he had an unusual calm that seemed to say, This is the right thing to do.
Brett without flinching started his car and backed out of the parking spot and drove off. As they drove off Brett couldn't help but wonder what was in store for him. The voice and the timed message of Nikki got him thinking on what will happen now.
He got that uneasy feeling and when ever he did, something bad happened. And he had only got that feeling twice before. Once, just before his dad ran for office and his dad lost the election. Then the other time was the day before his mother had died. Both times he had wanted to tell his Dad but was afraid. And now this time once again he wants to tell his Dad but like the other times he is afraid.
Brett needed comfort and looked to Nikki who smiled reassuringly. She placed her hand on his hand. Then he held her hand and she his. She leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Baby, its gonna be ok.”
Her voice soothed his fears. It seemed to suspend time and space. For that moment nothing else mattered but them. With a word she could always calm him and he can conquer any thing. It was then that as she said those words that this was something he had to do. Call it a sense of destiny. Or what ever you wish to call it, but Brett was on his way. To what, he didn't know nor at this time did he want to know.
Dad's house was only three miles away and Brett shifted into first gear. This was a vulnerable time for Brett. He as now frail, something he was afraid of and never wanted to show to anyone. He knew his weakness was weighing him down. He knew something was missing and the pain of the past was making him weary. Brett wanted rest. He felt chained from the past and wanted release from it. He sought a healing touch but even Nikki could not touch that ever growing pain in his heart. He wanted to be whole. The question was would he find it? This weary journey man was only starting on his road to the unknown.
But other thoughts ran through Brett's mind. He couldn't understand why his relationship with his Dad was so distant. Dad was different after Mom had died. The vague memories of playing ball in the back yard filled his head. Echoed voices from the past came in like a flood.
“That a boy you can do it.” Dad said as he watched his boy catch his first ball. The glove was over sized but Little Brett seemed to manage to catch the ball all be it very clumsily, but he did catch it.
Just as he caught the ball a petite blond of a woman shouted. “Way to go sweetie, you did it.”
She ran over to give him a hug of support and swing him around playfully but that was not to happen. She stopped mid run and then collapsed on the ground . Mom had a seizure and started to flail on the ground and there was nothing Brett nor his Dad could do. Feeling helpless and hopeless Brett just stood there afraid to move. As soon as she stopped she stopped breathing. And by the time the ambulance came it was too late, Mom had past away.
Home was no longer the same after that Brett would learn to cope with loneliness and despair. While dad would just move on and put on a brave front and tell the world that he was ok. Truth is Dad was not ok he would deal with bouts of suicide and have to take pills just to keep himself afloat. Sis seemed to find comfort in religion. And she ruled the house after that taking control and taking on the adult role even though she was only 9 at the time of Mom's death.
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